I believe we use TOM in everything we do. Do you agree? And… what does TOM have to do with The Meaning of Life?
OK, here we go. The World according to TOM! He has a simple way of looking at the complicated questions. Here are some ideas TOM would like you to consider:
What if the meaning of a ‘Good Life’ was that you…
- Got things done and…
- Had a good time in the process?
I ask every person and group I work with, ‘What is a good day?’ (We start off small and work up!) And I’ve asked it to thousands of individuals and groups all around the world. The answers are always the same and fall into the two categories I just mentioned – Tasks and Feelings.
And by Tasks I mean just about ‘ANYTHING’ you do or want to do or need to do or feel you ‘should’ do; buy a car, get a job, start a relationship, finish a relationship, follow a spiritual path, run a business… and actually some of these things involve many related tasks; and isn’t this what we call a project? Fancy name for a bunch of tasks? And isn’t the Granddaddy of all these projects called Life? …the many interrelated tasks we encounter between being born and being buried – sorry, Fact of Life!
My lovely friend and mentor, Dr Hilda des Arts thought that the meaning of life was:
To Live, Love, Learn and Leave a Legacy.
And… isn’t that really just a list of tasks? High-level tasks I admit, but tasks none-the-less. I have adopted it and ‘try’ (there’s an interesting word for another discussion)… I try to live my life this way. Sometimes successful, often not, but I really do give it my best shot to get these ‘tasks’ right.
And while we are doing all these tasks, we strap ourselves in for the roller-coaster ride of our ‘Feelings’ – our emotions. And aren’t they really just things that are triggered by the tasks?
If I get the task called ‘relationships’ wrong, I feel sad…. or angry… or let down…. or guilty. If I get it right, I feel warm and fuzzy, or excited or aroused. If I mess up the task called ‘study’, I will probably fail my exams, so then I get anxious at this thought. If I get the task called ‘business’ wrong, I get worried and fearful because I can’t pay the mortgage or feed my family.
I’ve been studying training and learning and personal development for around thirty years, and in the last 10 years especially, I have been studying successful people and recognising that every time they are successful, they have used TOM:
- They have built sufficient trust in self and others or the project
- they have set Objectives that are meaningful to all parties involved
- they have ensured the presence of compelling Motivating factors – TOM
Who did I study?
If someone was successful at tying their shoelaces, I studied them for signs of TOM
I watched my two kids grow into loving and successful human beings and parents and observed that TOM was present in every success they had.
And in the business world:
- Gordon Bethune – took continental Airlines from the Worst airline in America to become the Best Airline in America. He had a clear message about TOM being the key to success: ‘Tell them what you want (set Objectives) …reward them for it (add Motivation) …and get out of the way (Trust them to do their job)’
- Jack Welch – CEO General Electric for 20 years said: ‘If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings (Trust them) and put compensation as a carrier behind it (Motivation) you almost don’t have to manage them.’ (set their Objectives).
- Richard Branson, creator of the Virgin empire says: ‘I have no secret. There are no rules to follow in business. I just work hard (set and achieve Objectives) and, as I always have done, believe I can do it (Trust myself). Most of all, though, I try to have fun.’ (Motivating factor)
And the question is…
So… the question is not ‘Do you use TOM?’ The question is: ‘Where and how do you already use TOM in your life, career or business?’
By the way, I didn’t devise TOM to help shape my life. TOM has been around long before I thought him up. I just observed that when people were successful, he was there. And when I am successful and I assess how that happened, I notice that he was there again.
So… back to the original questions: Do you use TOM? Would you agree that TOM is present in every success you have?
And I want to leave you with some questions to ponder (TOM loves to ponder!):
- Who do you trust, and why do you trust them?
- What are your Objectives and how do achieve them and/or get others to align with them?
- What Motivates you to do the tasks
TOM says, “Have a ‘Good Life!” – get things done, and have a good time in the process.
Find out if you could profit from delivering TOM:
Brighton, UK September 23 2011
