everyone agrees with TOM

There you are, I’ve said it. No time to beat around the bush. Grey room, black type, white background, 550 PowerPoint slides per hour, some bozo beating his gums out the front while the class sleeps and that most dreadful and horrific of all training room afflictions: Flat Bum (from 2 hours of chair based, brain numbing, spirit sapping, soul draining facilitator tongue flap!)

A bit harsh?? Yes, of course it is. But, unfortunately, for our industry and our public image as a group… it still happens. You’ve been in a course as described above. OMG, some of you have even delivered sessions like this! It’s OK, you don’t have to put your hand up. Your secret’s safe… for the moment.

Suggestion: Blow the whistle on these people and sessions! Give some feedback! for all our sakes, if a training session you attend is rubbish, then have the… courage to say so. No, not to the other delegates – say it to the trainer or their manager.

My biggest lessons have come from the sessions that didn’t work and the people they didn’t work for.

And… here’s a radical thought. ASK for feedback on your sessions. Yeah, yeah… I know you hand out Happy Sheets, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Sit people down, lead with your chin and ask.

“How did I go?’ and …’What was good about how I ran that session?’ and especially this one, the Granddaddy of all, the $64 000 question: ‘What didn’t I do well and why?’

And just for fun, how about you tell us:

What is the worst thing that a delegate or audience member has ever said to you? and…
What did that experience teach you?

You tell me one of yours, and I’ll tell you one of mine. Go on. I dare ya!

In response to a blog I wrote recently entitled ‘Most Trainers and Training Sessions are Boring!’ (complete with description of what these sessions look  and feel like), a trainer came back with:

“Sounds like you are describing a presentation session Ross, not a training course most trainers here deliver. I look forward to invitations to seminars with another 100 people as I can drift into never-never land and get a coffee and doughnut after. It’s like sitting at an airport waiting for your flight – so relaxing, mental massage.

Some of them follow the 70′s presentation style; a pulpit for the presenter, decorated stage, a few coughs and you can guess the rest. I fall asleep. There is no participant interaction, just a nervous presenter sweating in the spotlight. Why? No one is listening… then the monotomy is broken by someone’s mobile ringing –  loudly of course.

 These are people who have the need to speak to a group, satisfying their narcissistic traits, they are the focus, they are in control, for themselves. This has nothing to do with training.”

I thought this was a pretty fair assessment of a lot of presentations OR training sessions I have personally witnessed over the years. My response  actually became another blog post, so here it is:

Is your Training and Presenting ‘Truly’ Interactive?

Actually (name withheld until I get his approval), I was being completely OTT with mydescription of ineffective presentations and presenters, training sessions and trainers, facilitated meetings and facilitators. But unfortunately, everywhere I go in the world there still seems to be large swathes of the speaking / training / presenting / facilitating  industry which are stuck in the 1950′s, never mind 70′s! And, yes, I was going to the extreme to highlight a point. And it’s this:

The more ‘truly’ interactive any of these above described interactions and interventions are, the more effective they will be. The more ‘senses’ and learning streams and intelligences are engaged, the more likely that each and every participant will have their own Reticular Activating System (RAS) aroused, strings of neurons created under different headings, more emotions triggered (scientific opinion suggests that the only reason we have emotions is to reinforce memory), more beliefs changed and behaviours adapted.

By ‘truly’ interactive, I don’t mean asking a question and getting a half-hearted response from 10% of an audience. I don’t mean getting a few affirmative nods or disapproving shakes of the head. I don’t mean asking people to put their hands up if they agree or disagree.

Professor Howard Gardner from Harvard suggests in his Multiple Intelligence theory that there are eight separate intelligences in action for most of us, most of the time:

Logical, Intrapersonal, Visual, Musical, Interpersonal, Linguistic, Kinaesthetic and Naturalist (No, not Naturist! Stop thinking about naked scientists! Ooops, too late)

He suggests (sorry if you already know this) that, put really simply, it is possible that, if a string of neurons is formed under each of these headings, then memories will become stronger, recall will consequently become easier and precipitating action more likely.

If to Gardner’s mix of eight you add Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as a separate strand and Dramatic intelligence as well (the brain’s love for ‘Storytelling’) then align it with the theories of Lazanov, Bandler and Grinder’s NLP and Colin Rose’s Accelerated learning – if you add all that together, you get what I call En-Lightning Learning – fast and illuminating. Yes, I know, I’ve just piggy-backed on the research and developmental theories of others and come up with my own version, but my meddling was spurred by reason – I just found it easier to deliver and have it understood by blending then simplifying.

Anyway… I ended up with a character I call MILD KELVIN (Oh no! Another acronym!!) – Click HERE for larger version of image below.

• Musical
• Intrapersonal
• Logical
• Dramatic
• Kinaesthetic
• Emotional
• Linguistic
• Visual
• Interpersonal
• Naturalist (Stop it! Those ‘naturists’ keep creeping into my imagination!)

And why am I banging on about all this?

What I have found from more than thirty years of delivering presentations and training; coaching clients; training trainers and facilitating meetings… It’s all the same. And so, to reach the crux of my ‘banging on’, here is the longest sentence I think I have ever written – but hang in there:

‘Whether I am speaking one-to-one with a private coaching client, training twenty managers for 3 full days, chairing a meeting, or delivering a keynote to a full auditorium; no matter what the circumstances surrounding the passing of information to, and influencing of, others; if I fully engage the ten MILD KELVIN senses of the people attending (and I tend to think of them as ‘people’, not delegates), then that information passing and influencing becomes a whole lot easier and infinitely more enjoyable, for me as well as them!

I find when I MILD KELVINise any sharing of ideas or knowledge, it lands easier and is absorbed quicker. I find I can deliver twice the content in half the time with double the recall. And from the other side of the coin, people report that they can memorise faster, recall easier and act sooner.

So the question is, are you going to keep sticking black type on a white background and bore your delegates brains into submission? Or are you going to ignite their capacity for fast effective learning with a MILD KELVIN symphony of ‘truly interactive’ engagement?

Note: To Download a free article all about MILD KELVIN, Click HERE

Thanks Chris for giving me permission to pass this on

Dear Ross,

Well, as Sir Bruce Forsyth would say…… “Didn’t we do well.”

As the gold dust settles from London 2012, I wanted to share some thoughts with you on the extraordinary spectacle and experience we’ve just been through – and some observations that might be of use in you Entrepreneurial life.

I was going to write this email the day of the closing ceremony but I think it may be of more use today, as Britain starts to get back to ‘normal.’ The following is really written for my UK readers. If you’re outside Britain, don’t be offended. We’re feeling rather proud of ourselves at the moment.

So, some thoughts on the London Olympics of 2012…….

First, I had forgotten what an extraordinary country Britain can be. Somewhere, back in the mists of times, our ancestors had the balls to call our country GREAT Britain. I think we had lost track of why. I know I had. The last month has shown us why. It’s been exciting to be here over the last few weeks but it’s also been a privilege. The organisational and logistic achievement of what we did and how well we did it was breathtaking. I’m not sure what was more impressive…..turning up at the Olympic stadium and seeing this extraordinary creation – or leaving the stadium with a hundred thousand people and somehow getting onto that bullet train and back to London in 7 minutes without having to queue for a moment. I have absolutely no idea how they did it. I do know that the whole experience was a profound reminder that when we get our act together, we can do anything as well as any country on this planet – and in many cases much better. It’s worth us remembering that as we run our businesses. It’s easy to believe that we have an inherent disadvantage against the global economic superpowers. That’s not the case. If anything the opposite is true. We have a history of producing results massively dis proportionate to our relatively small population. Think of the opening ceremony and that never ending stream of music we have gifted the world.

Talking of music, that wonderful opening ceremony also reminded us of our creative genius. From The Beatles, to Shakespeare and so much more, we are an island brimming with creativity. I’ve always argued that great Entrepreneurism isn’t primarily about business skills. They’re easy to master. Great Entrepreneurism is about creativity. Whatever business you have, you’ve created it out of absolutely nothing. Reaching your goals and solving future problems will require skill – but above all it will require your creativity. Tapping into our innate creativity is something we could all do more of.

As an aside, it’s also worth remembering that there’s a direct link between creativity, intelligence and humour. A sense of humour requires the ability to link seemingly unrelated factors in your brain in unusual ways. So does creativity and intelligence. I’ve been constantly reminded of Britain’s sense of humour over these weeks. From Rowan Atkinson’s Chariots of Fire to the jokes and banter of those incredible volunteers. Our sense of humour is an asset. There were mumblings after the opening ceremony that some countries wouldn’t ‘get’ some of it. No they wouldn’t. That’s the point.

My American friends are fond of proclaiming their country the greatest on earth. I respect their patriotism but I don’t think the world is that black and white. In any context, we have the opportunity to be as good, or better than anyone else. I know that Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin America airline is kicking ass in the country of supposed superior customer service. There’s no reason you can’t do the same in your own field of endeavor.

I’m as guilty as anyone of complaining about my country. There’s a lot wrong with it. But in August 2012 that country did something to me it had never done before. It humbled me. A couple of weeks ago I strolled across Blackheath Common where I used to stumble as a teenager after an evening at the pub – and walked into Greenwich Park to experience not only the most stunning backdrop imaginable for the equestrian events, but also Britain winning gold. I wasn’t expecting that and I certainly wasn’t expecting how emotional it would be when they raised the flag and played the anthem. I don’t claim to be an equestrian expert but it seems this all happened because one of our team, in his 50s, broke his neck a few years ago and was told he’d never ride again and totally refused to buy into his diagnosis. That’s another thing the British are good at – sheer bloody minded stubbornness.

The next thing may be obvious – but it’s worth focusing on. The Olympic Games is about the leading edge of human excellence. You’ve just had two and a half weeks surrounded by human beings at the pinnacle of that excellence. One of the interesting things about studying excellence is that the context is fairly irrelevant if you’re interested in learning from high achievers. In other words, the fact that Bradley Wiggins rides bikes and you run a business doesn’t matter if you’re interested in learning profound lessons from Bradley. In fact, the British cycling team’s three pronged approach to success that has made them the best in the world, can be mapped across to business almost word for word. For example, their approach to incremental improvements is what we would call optimisation. It would be a very good use of your time to watch interviews with the high achievers from the Olympics and take notes. I did and have lots of sheets of paper from the last couple of weeks stuffed in my pockets as a result.

There are numerous lessons we can learn from the gold medal winners and most are beyond the scope of this message. But I’ll make one observation. I didn’t see any gold medal winners who got there by making a vague decision about how successful they’d like to be, putting in the same effort as the masses and not working weekends. I’m not sure why so many business owners who take that type of half-hearted approach, are so surprised that their life is such a struggle. You get gold by getting up when everyone else is asleep and putting in the work that others won’t. Then you do it again and again and again through rain, sleet and snow. You get gold by failing and coming out of that failure with an iron resolve that nobody will shake. You get gold by doing the gymnastic leap of your life, with a bandaged broken toe.

Of course, when we see the proud athlete with their gold medal glistening in the London sun, we don’t see the cold, dark mornings of training they endured to get there. Likewise, when you turn up in your shiny new car (or whatever your equivalent) the people in your world won’t necessarily have seen the Entrepreneurial pain and heartache you endured to get there. But the gold medal winner and the Entrepreneurial winner are the same in many ways. They know precisely what they want. And they’re willing to pay the price to get it.

Finally, one of the great joys of the 2012 Olympics was that Britain stopped moaning. An extraordinary achievement. I experienced several London taxi drivers who were totally silent. There was nothing to moan about, so they had nothing to say. Ironically, most of us Brits think we stopped moaning because the Olympics were so great. I would say that the Olympics were so great partly because we stopped moaning. You simply can’t have that level of excellence with negativity. The laws of the universe won’t allow it.

Our culture and our media’s obsession with negativity is, I believe, one of Britain’s greatest challenges going forward. This economy will pass. Our attitudes won’t. That media and culture are eagerly awaiting the ‘return to normal’ so that they can claim that the high we experienced at the Olympics was a flash in the pan. Actually, as a nation, they’ll be right. Six months from now the country will be about as negative as it was six months ago.

But the same does not have to be true for YOU as an individual.

If you’re in Britain you’ve just experienced your country functioning at an extraordinary level of excellence. You’ve seen what we’re truly capable of, when strategy, mindset and a belief in possibility are aligned. And as if that wasn’t enough, hundreds of the world’s most incredible, success driven individuals have come to your country and shown you, day after day, levels of human achievement that are simply staggering.

I hope you enjoyed the Olympics as much as I did. But I also hope that you’ll consider using it as a wake-up call. A wake up to what you’re capable of. And maybe a wake up to the fact that you’re not even scratching the surface of your true potential.

And remember, you live in a country where James Bond went to pick up the Queen to take her to the Olympics. It’s OK to be proud.

Best wishes

Chris
Cardell Media

And, while we’re at it…  SPEAKING (and Training) is not really about SPEAKING (and training). It’s about CHANGING BEHAVIOUR. 

My 10 could be:

Influencing a CHANGE or CONTINUATION of an ACTION or BEHAVIOUR

Ok, straight away I’m going to break my own Ten Words rule by adding an explanation (or challenge?). If the definition of speaking or training or communicating does not include or imply the influencing of behaviour change, it is not an accurate definition of these terms. Any speaking, not just public speaking! All speaking, training, communicating, coaching, advising… is about imparting information to self or others with the purpose of influencing a change in behaviour – so let’s just call it ‘speaking’)

For example if I am tasked by a corporate client with ‘speaking’ to Ralph to influence him to stack boxes in the corner, do they expect that Ralph will leave the session with:
a) the knowledge of how boxes should be stacked?
b) an understanding of the box-stacking process?
c) a scientific explanation and engineering principles of box stacking?
or maybe even…
d) the ability to coach/train someone else how to educate people about box stacking?

NO! The company wants the boxes stacked!!

So… I repeat! All speaking and communicating in any form is, in the end, about changing behaviour.

Most (if not all) of us are paid to inspire, motivate, teach, educate, manage, train, inform, communicate with… and all these are for one ultimate purpose – to influence a CHANGE or CONTINUATION of an action or BEHAVIOUR.

Check out ‘Inspire’ in a dictionary and notice how all the definitions above imply or infer ‘action’ of some sort.

No company in my more than thirty years of speaking, training, coaching… has ever asked me to get their staff to ‘understand’ something, or make them feel ‘inspired’, without there being the explicit expectation that they would actually DO something with that understanding and inspiration. I am mostly paid to inspire or motivate people to ‘do’ things.

- If we are speaking to students, our initial aim is that they comprehend the content of our class, but even in that there are subtle behavioural changes. If someone ‘doesn’t get it’ their behaviour is different to the others that ‘do’ get it. They shift in their seat, get distracted, feel frustrated… So my job is to deliver content and information in such a way that my audience understands and then acts differently. First I like to see them act confidently in their understanding of this newly acquired knowledge – this means I will see them relax, smile and then… the resultant paper they write or tests they do or examinations they pass are direct proof that the behaviour change has taken place.

- If we are lecturing at university, the information we deliver WILL influence behaviour, even if it only a minor change. e.g. the listener may be bored by it, in which case they will yawn and go to sleep (change of behaviour); some will nod and agree with us (change of behaviour); some will go out and buy our book (change of behaviour); some will go out and burn our book! (change of behaviour)

- if we are training bus drivers, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a candidate to ‘understand’ that it’s bad to crash into other vehicles. No, I want him to behave differently because of that understanding and actually return the bus to the depot in one piece and without an accident report in his pocket!

Sorry to go off on one, but I feel THIS IS IMPORTANT. Ultimately, we don’t get paid just to help people understand, although it is often (not always!) a prerequisite for effectively influencing a change in behaviour.

We get paid to influence and inspire and train and encourage others to DO THINGS differently – better, slower, faster, friendlier, calmer, more profitably, more sustainably…

So…that’s why I suggest…. in ten words, SPEAKING is…

Influencing a CHANGE or CONTINUATION of an ACTION or BEHAVIOUR

So… what are your Ten Words to define ‘Speaking’? has my post here influenced you to act differently?

Have a lovely day

In a recent survey we conducted on LinkedIn and another for a convention I was booked to speak at, I posed the question:

‘If you suddenly had a better MEMORY, what are THREE things that you would like to be better at REMEMBERING?

Seems that the most common answer to this question, anywhere I ask it is: Names

But… it’s no use. You’ll never be any good at names.

Sorry. What I meant to say was ‘You’ll never be any good at names… if that’s what you choose to believe!’

I usually start a workshop or event by memorising everyone’s name before the session begins, and then reciting them back to the group. 20-30 names usually takes around between 30 and 60 minutes. When I have finished reciting them, I often get a round of applause, or at least some raised eyebrows and some appreciative nods.

Then I say something self-deprecating like ‘Yes, I know it’s a bit of a party trick, but you seemed to be impressed.’ And then, ‘Why did you clap?’ I ask. Someone always comes up with the answer that most agree with. i.e. The voice in their head said, ‘I can’t do that’, and they applaud my special ability or skill.

These few minutes of interaction have some quite a significant affects or ‘Wow’ factors on the audience or delegates, like…

• Surprise – ‘Wow! I didn’t expect that!’
• Curiosity – ‘Wow! How the hell did he do that??’
• Respect – ‘Wow! That was pretty cool. Great ‘trick’
• Envy – ‘Wow! I wish I could do that!

… and then…

Doubt – ‘Wow! He can do it… but… I wonder if ‘I’ can do it.’

And when I announce that ‘they’ will ALL be doing it within the hour i.e. They will memorise around 20 names in less than half an hour (faster than I did it!) Of course, this triggers some other emotions:

• Anxiety – ‘What if I have difficulty learning how to do it?’
• Fear of failure – ‘What if I can’t do it?’
• Fear of rejection – ‘What will other’s think of me if I can’t do it. Will I still be accepted by the group if I can’t do it?’
• Fear of isolation – ‘What if I am the ONLY person who can’t do it?’

As human beings we are constantly comparing – high with low, big against small, happy and sad, and as Darwin’s theory of natural selection suggests, You with Me and you and me with everybody else. i.e. if I do this differently to you I will probably get a different result. If I do it the same as you, I will probably get a similar result.

Everything is relative. It’s a bit like Einstein’s theory of relativity, the simple version of which is:

‘Time and speed are related, and it’s all relative to the observer.’ i.e. it depends on your ‘pointof view’ i.e. the physical, mental or emotional view from the point at which you are observing.

So it is with people and things and everything in each of our lives. Nothing has any meaning unless it can be compared to something else. Hot has no meaning without cold. If everything was hot, nothing would be hot, because ‘hot’ only has meaning when held up against something that isn’t hot, And we give that state a name – we call it warm or cool or cold, depending on the degree to which it is not ‘Hot’.

So, you see, your brain (and mine) is a ‘relativity’ machine (Einstein would be proud of you!). It takes in information and compares it to other information previously stored, as well as comparing it to possible imaginary outcomes, or what we call ‘expectations’.

So the answer to: ‘Wow! He can do it… but… I wonder if ‘I’ can do it.’ Is… ‘Yes you can!’

I don’t have a special brain. Science has discovered that, actually, most brains are very similar. And yes, some have better abilities in maths, or relationships, or reverse-parking a car, but essentially, when it comes to remembering names, it is a pretty level playing field.

To use another quote, the Indian guru, mystic and spiritual leader Sai Baba metaphorised: ‘The only difference between a flower and a weed, is the judgement.’

In regard to your ability to remember names, removing the judgement is a great way to start. You can do this. I have worked with literally thousands of people from all sorts of nationalities, educational backgrounds and personalities. It is extremely rare that someone just can’t do it. (And no, you’re not one of them!)

And on that rare occasion we find someone who is struggling, and we study why that might be, we usually find that there is nothing wrong with the participant’s brain. It is just that the belief is so strong that ‘they’ won’t be able to do it, it sinks them before they even launch.

So when people say things like:

‘It’s alright for you but… ‘I have a terrible memory!’;  or… ‘I can remember faces, but not names.’; or… ’I used to have a great memory, but now I’m hopeless.’; or…’My brain doesn’t work that way.’; or… my personal favourite, ‘I couldn’t be bothered. What’s the use of trying to remember stuff when I know I’ll forget it tomorrow?!’

I simply say this: ‘If that’s what you choose to believe!’

If you haven’t already done so, why not download a free article all about ‘How to Learn or Teach Anything 10 Times Faster!’ – just click THIS LINK

PS By the way, there are many, many positive benefits you will gain just from learning people’s names, but that’s fodder for a whole other article

Motivational speakers need TOM. Trainers need TOM. Managers, communicators, families, parents and children of parents… Does that cover everyone? …all of them (you!) need TOM.

TOM is a part of ‘everything’ we do – every task we attempt and/or achieve, every presentation we make, every training session we deliver every conversation we have, as a manager or as an employee, with ourselves or with other people.

There is no escaping TOM! There is no part of our life that doesn’t involve these three basic concepts: Trust, Objectives and Motivation. And of course the Objectives have related but not necessarily identical counterparts – Outcomes. Objectives are what you plan to happen; Outcomes are what actually happens!

Who do you trust and why?

Think about this for a moment: How much of your everyday life revolves around trust? Male or female, married or single, young or old, big or small… We all survive better when we are both trusting and trustworthy. Sometimes I trust people and situations and people because of what I experience with them or around them. Sometimes I have to just trust that something will happen regardless of what might have transpired previously.

I caught a bus to the post office the other day, and as I watched the driver do his job, I realised how often we need to trust other people to help us achieve our objectives and outcomes – whether it’s catching a bus, or running a multi-national corporation.

I blindly Trusted the driver to sell me the right ticket, charge me the right fare, give me the right change and help me get to where I wanted to go (reach my Objective). I also trusted that the bus was safe to travel in, the other passengers would be civil to me, and each other and that if I needed advice or assistance, someone would step up and provide it.

The driver Trusted that the bus would keep running, he would reach his Objective on time and was I guess he was Motivated by the prospect of being recognised for doing a good job and the reward of being paid for it. At the very least he probably trusted that he would keep his job.

We both trusted that the mechanics and engineers had done their job well (Objective), that the bus would keep running so we could get to where we planned and that the drivers on the other side of the road would stay over there and not come careering onto our side of the double yellows.

And I was Motivated to get my letter to my friend.

TOM and I went to the Post Office and we:

Trusted that the building was safe for me to enter, transact my business and leave again with very little fear of being attacked, blown up, shot at or otherwise traumatised (and there are some places in the world where this isn’t always the case!). And the…

Objective was to buy the correct postage, attach it to the letter and deposit said letter into the mail box. And the…

Motivating factor? I visualised my friend receiving the letter (a rare occasion since the advent of email) and smiling broadly when they discovered it was from me!

And what has all this got to do with speaking, training, coaching, communicating…? Everything!

Have you ever been positively motivated by someone who you didn’t trust? (not to be confused with being motivated to escape from a homicidal maniac!) Have you ever gone into a business transaction with someone who didn’t have similar, or at least related, or mutually beneficial objectives?

Finally…look at the next presentation you are booked to give, training session you are planning to run or the next conversation you are planning to have. I bet each of those situations, simple or complex, involves either Trusting yourself or someone else, having a mental picture or vision of an Outcome (Objective), and a Motivating reason for doing whatever it is.

Does it make more sense now why ‘Everyone agrees with TOM?’